I’ve always believed that every photo has a hidden story. Of the day you took it, of the person who looked at you through the lens, of how you really felt and thought in that moment. This is the story of a photo I took in Bali last year. I didn’t wanna take any pictures in Bali, I felt like that journey was for healing and confronting my last demons only. Not for the ego, not for the others or the public space. For me only. Nevertheless, the friend I was with that day, gently nudged me into the water and slowly encouraged me to walk through the rapid river till the rock. A local guide took multiple shots, as I was bending my body in various ways. And I remember in those moments my body was alive, the dripping water nourished my feminine being, I was coming home to my empress essence, again. 

Every photo has a healing story as well. I went to Bali in the midst of my healing experience which debuted with a health scare back in summer 2023. I had gone through a dark time, after a hurtful, intense and devastating emotional experience and I was trying to push through it the same: with a lot of work, with intense gym, with many people, etc. But my body started saying “no”. It was the first “no” she had ever said to me in 38 years. That “no” Gabor Mate writes about in one of his most famous books. Doctors couldn’t find any cure as I was slowly dying, I could not eat anymore, my nervous system went down, my liver was not processing food anymore, I lost 8 to 10 kilos and could barely get out of the bed everyday. Doctors said they could give me 14 pills a day and put me on an IV. But I refused. I started working with 2 of the greatest therapists in Romania, surrendering yet again to reiki and acupuncture to heal from within. I believed this time, the disease was spiritual and emotional, and the body was just somatizing it badly. Both therapists prayed for me, they really did, and to this day I am lucky I found them on my path. I wouldn’t be here without them. After a couple of months of mental, emotional and physical pain, changing drastically my life to the point of who I spent time with, what I ate and so on, I reached another blockage. The body stopped on the journey and it was aching again, bad. My intestines burned every day, I could eat just a couple of things and mostly drank water and tea. It was then when I decided it was time I surrendered to another healer. And I was shown the path of Bali, the isle of gods and Ubud, the city of healers and holy medicine. It might all sound crazy or romantic, but when one is desperately trying to save her life, she will believe in any prophecy an old healer from Bali will tell her (yes, I am quasiquoting Liz from Eat, Pray, Love).

I began to plan for Bali while searching actively for healers I could visit. And long story short, my path led me to Ketut Arsana (yes, Ketut as in Eat, Pray, Love; nevertheless Ketut means “the 4th born”, so it is a common name in Bali), a kundalini tantra yoga teacher, a healer from a lineage of balians and a gifted, simple man from the island. I was chosen among multiple people trying to get treatment that day. And when the 4th of November came, I walked to his center for 30 minutes in the hot Bali weather. I remember vividly the body pain, the desperate thoughts I will not reach his place and that I was doomed to end my life there in Bali. When I arrived, his healing team took me in, prepared me for the session as I was waiting patiently to get another chance to be healthy again. He arrived and asked me plain simple: what can I do for you? With tears in my eyes, knowing how much pain I endured during the 20 hour trip, I just said: please save me. What followed was probably one of the most painful treatments and procedures ever. He gently asked me to breathe deeply inside-out during the entire time. That would have easen the pain and helped me to release the mental and emotional garbage my body collected through my traumatic childhood and adulthood until that moment. All the bad behaviours, toxic relationships, workplaces, etc. He applied various techniques, from deep acupressure and chakra cleaning to whatever you can name it. As he was inducing more and more pain in my muscles, lymph, tissues and bones, he asked me to surrender to the pain and just breathe. “Let go”, he said multiple times, “let go of the trauma, you have soooo much trauma”. Then, I surrendered. Pain dissolved slowly into tears and a desperate crying as I was releasing an old version of me. I was releasing all the nonsense, the men, the pain, the anxiety, the trauma, the expectations and broken heart. It took like 40 minutes, then he gently told me: meditate, you need to meditate, you’re clean and fine now. 🙂 Then, his assistant repeated the painful massage with a special scrub, and she led me to a bathtub full of local herbs and roots. When I got out, I could not feel pain anymore. Anywhere.

For 3 days straight I could eat again, hell I could even drink coffee. From that moment on I lost the crippling anxiety that was inhabiting my body from childhood and it never came back. From that moment on, I am smiling everyday knowing that there is purpose in every trauma and that this life, with ups and downs, is precious and short and worthy of our conscious living. And nobody, no bad place or person deserves our health or presence as long as we put ourselves down. Ketut Arsana is a simple man, probably has seen so much pain and trauma in his life…find him here in his Ohm Ham Retreat. The treatment was definitely another step on my healing journey and helped the process accelerate. After I came back from Bali, my body began rapid improvement and hope re-entered my mind and soul again. I am still on my journey, but lighter and with a deeper knowing I was supposed to go there. 

And now you know the hidden and the healing story behind this photo. It was taken 2 days after the treatment with Ketut. I could walk with less pain. I could smile. I could marvel at the incredible place and energy I was in. Ubud embraced me like one of his daughters, ready to be born again. I will never, ever forget those days. And never this picture. It was a gift from God, Vishnu, Buddha, whoever, to me, a humble warrior woman from Romania, trying to heal her way back to her mighty heart. And I know how incredibly blessed I am to have had the resources to do it. Not everyone is that lucky. 

Thanking Master Ketut Arsana, Darwin (my guide and friend in all Bali), the unnamed Bali photographer who took the pictures and to all my healers being part of the team I assembled on my path. I am in awe of your gifts and generosity. And I know that now it is time for me to serve humanity, as my path becomes clearer every day. 

WomenAreHealing everywhere.